Baby Update

Things continue to roll along on the baby front.  Lynn has been extremely uncomfortable lately and is definitely ready for baby to make an appearance.  I’m sure it’ll come soon enough.  In the meantime I’ve updated the gallery with some pictures of the baby room.  I finished painting it last weekend and we just put all our furniture in it and it’s now ready to go.  Check the pictures out by clicking here.

Most Amazing Thing I’ve Seen

Lynn and I got to see our son or daughter today. Lynn is currently thirteen weeks pregnant, give or take a few days. It was absolutely incredible to watch this on the monitor, seeing it move its tiny arm, and watching it’s little heart beat. The estimated due date is January 14. Clicking the below picture will take you to a gallery which will house all of our baby related photos.

Our Baby

Sure Sign of Armageddon?

Sometimes I just shake my head, curl up into the fetal position, and begin to cry. Recent discoveries have me believing that our beautiful planet is spiralling further and further into the abyss, and I’m afraid it’s too late to stop it now. There’s not enough space here to write an exhaustive list of all that is wrong with the world, but here are a few of the major ones:

The colossally stupid people are beginning to outnumber the normal.

The “Family Circus” comic strip.

People who drive 20 km below the speed limit in the left hand lane.

People who give you the finger after honking at them because they were two seconds away from plowing into you while making a lane change without looking and talking on a stupid cell phone.

Cell phones.

The list goes on. Those are all annoyances for sure, but the information that recently came to my attention makes the above feel like dancing on rainbows and lollipops in comparison. So what is it? I can barely bring myself to write it – just the mere thought of it makes me gag.

There are people on this Earth; pray it’s not someone you know, that actually like the “sitcom” Full House. If you just choked down some vomit, then you’re one of the normal ones. You want that vomit to come right back up? Well choke on this: I know of someone who actually said that Full House was a better, funnier show, than Seinfeld. Now, I’m usually quite tolerant of differing opinions. We’re all unique individuals with different likes and dislikes, but that’s just crazy talk. How does anyone above the age of eight actually like Full House?

I shop at stores like Best Buy and Futureshop a lot, and often browse the dvd section. I can’t believe some of the stuff they expect to sell. It wasn’t that long ago in fact, that I saw a boxed set of the complete first season of Full House. I thought to myself, “Good God, who in their right mind is buying that? Who would willingly subject themselves to not just one episode, but an entire season of Full House?”

Little known fact – when the US Army found the hole where Saddam Hussein was hiding they tried gassing him out, drowning him out, and even dangling a block of cheese at the entrance. He wouldn’t budge. It wasn’t until they started pumping in sounds of the trials and tribulations of Danny Tanner, D.J, Stephanie and little baby Michelle that Saddam ripped his eyes and ears off his face and begged to be captured.

Now, watching Full House is one thing. Whatever sick, and twisted things you do in your own home is entirely your business, but to say that it’s actually better and funnier than Seinfeld? Are you nuts? I can understand that Seinfeld won’t be everyone’s favourite show, in fact, I can accept that not everyone would like it, and I’m fine with that. But in all seriousness, you cannot tell me that Full House is a better show without following it up with a “ha ha, I’m just kidding!” or an “I’m sorry, I was hit in the head with a bowling ball and I’m not thinking too straight.”

So that’s it. Make your peace because the world is ending.

Full House

7 Days of Gluttony

I just got back from a caribbean cruise on the Caribbean Princess. I had intended on keeping daily notes and posting them, but I didn’t, so I’m spitting this out now while it’s still fresh in my head. Once I’ve processed all the pictures I’ll upload them to the gallery.

First off, until I saw it in person, I had no appreciation for just how enormous the ship is. They’re not kidding when they call it a floating city. It holds 3100 passengers and just over a thousand crew on 18 floors.

We embarked on Saturday, April 22 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. The process was relatively smooth and would have been fairly quick if it wasn’t for Miss Chats-a-lot in front of us in line to get our boarding passes. Once on board the ship we made our way to our room and checked it out. It was fairly small, as was expected, but it was nice enough. We then headed to the 15th floor buffet for some lunch.

Before this trip I had heard all the stories about how much food you can get on cruises, and our first foray to the buffet proved it. It was then and there that I knew I would have a good time. My first lunch on board consisted of turkey, complete with mashed potatoes, gravy, a salad, a bun or two, and about 35 different desserts. Sweet. We then went exploring the ship, checking out all it had to offer.

You can get full details of the ships features from the web site linked above, but the highlights include four pools with a bunch of hot tubs, a theatre, a few different lounges, a casino, a running track, and lots of space for just sitting and relaxing. One of the coolest things was “Movies Under the Stars” – a big movie screen on the top deck of the ship where you could watch movies from a deck chair at night. It felt sort of like a drive-in without the cars.

We spent two days at sea before arriving at St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands. Most of that time was spent by the pool during the days, and watching the various shows at night. Our typical day at sea consisted of an early morning buffet breakfast (heaps of bacon, pancakes, sausages, muffins, pastries, you name it) followed by some lounging around the pool. After a few pre-lunch snacks of pizza or hamburgers, we’d go to the buffet for lunch and desserts. Afterwards, we’d spend more time at the pool, reading, relaxing, whatever. For dinner we went to one of the restaurants for a nice meal. The menu changed daily, the food was always good. We would then usually take in a show at the theatre – we saw a couple different comedians who were all very good, a juggler, a ventriloquist…. the shows were always different, and very good. Later in the evening we would watch a movie at the “Movies Under the Stars” screen.

We visited three different ports. St. Thomas, as mentioned above, was the first stop. I didn’t care for this stop so much because of the aggressive sales people licking their lips at the sight of thousands of tourists coming their way. St. Maarten, Netherland Antilles was the second stop. It was much nicer than St. Thomas in my mind. It had a nice beach right at the port where we spent some time after shopping. There are many different activities and tours you can do on the islands, but none of them interested us too much, given their cost. We did do some snorkling however at our third stop, the Princess Cays, Bahamas. This is an island owned by Princess Cruises and is basically one great big gorgeous beach. We spent the day swimming, snorkelling, and of course eating – there’s a big barbecue pit in the middle of the beach and they served hamburgers, hotdogs, and many desserts.

All in all, it was a great time and I’d definitely do it again. The seven day cruise seemed to be just the right amount of time. To be honest, I don’t think I could have stayed much longer than that, so seven days was just perfect.

Pictures soon… stay tuned.

How about you action some English lessons?

I received a forwarded document the other day and was asked to “review and action” it. This has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves. Corporate Speak. You’ve all heard it I’m sure. “Please action this”, “champion that cause”, or let’s “re-projectize”. Yeah, re-projectize is one of my favourites. I haven’t looked it up, but I’m pretty sure that “action” is a noun, not a verb. I think from now on, when someone asks me to “action” something I’m going to assume they’re a moron spouting gibberish and I’ll continue on with my day. Furthermore, next time I’m asked to “champion a cause” I’m going to be expecting a medal. If I’m going to be a champion, I want the hardware to prove it.

Do you want to know what else is wrong with our society? Just because idiots keep using this “corporate-speak” (ooh, I can use buzzwords – I’m a MANAGER!!!) there’s talk of making these phrases legitimate. Why don’t we just get these people to use the phrases that are already there? I’m going to be championing all over that action!